Characters: Windrider, Moon Shadow, Black Dog, Lead Head, Lead Head's subordinates
Setting: In Lead Head's house, in the night
How the scene begins: windrider and Moon Shadow go to find Black Dog
How the scene ends: Windrider and Moon Shadow save Black Dog
The Problem: Black Dog may hurt Moon Shadow in the future
Substitute:
What do you think would have happened if Tiger is the person who catch Black Dog instead of Lead Head?
I think Tiger would beat Black Dog more hardly. Black Dog may hurt more seriously.
Modify:
What would have happened if Black Dog had been timid?
I think Black Dog would beg to Windrider and ask windrider to save him
Rearrange:
What would have happened if Black Dog died before Windrider and Moon Shadow went to save him?
I think Windrider would thought that Black Dog ere still safe. They would stopped finding Black Dog.
Rewritten Scene
I saw Black Dog who looked up, confused, studying the three men for a moment until he recognized them. He looked so afraid. "Tiger," Black Dog said to the men in the middle, "Please let me go. Don't hurt me!" He looked at us, and said, "Windrider, Moon Shadow. Please help me!" Tiger beat him unconscious, "Shut up. You cheap dog." Tiger said, "Ha Ha, I am going to kill him now!"
Suddenly I heard a shrill piercing whistle from above me. I looked up to see Father with two fingers in his mouth. It was a decidedly demonic talent.
I don't think the gunmen would have mistaken Father's whistle for the sound of the police if they had been calm, but of course they were nervous and excited about the killing. The man on Tiger's left turned to run, but Tiger grabbed his arm. "The gun, you fool, the gun."
Dumbly, the young man let Tiger give him the gun. Then the three of them ran like mad for the alleyway.
"Where did you learn to whistle like that?" I asked Father where he leart to whistle.
"Something I picked up," Father said.
"Think you could teach me?"
"Yes, it might just come in handy for you."
Unfortunately, one of them noticed that the alarm sound was produced by Father. He told other two to stop running. Then they ran towards us. A gun sound spread in the night. And there was a real police alarm went off in the night. Tiger shouted at us, "I'll be back!" Then they ran away.
The man took a shot at Black Dog's chest. He was hurt. "Oh!" Black Dog shouted out.
Father crouched and got Black Dog over his shoulders and walked slowly up the steps. I was waiting for him at the top. "Get his hat and things," Father said.
But I was staring up at Black Dog. I was so afraid.
"Listen," Father said, "We must send him to his father!"
I got Black Dog's hat and shirt and joined Father, who had already started to walk toward the alley mouth.
